Stereotypes about working women: A Personal Experience.

I was going through an article on http://www.youthkiawaaz.com, that what are the stereotypes about working women, two points caught my eyes because I can relate to them. Which are:

1: Women With Ambitions Are Somehow Of Bad Character And Attract Unnecessary Attention From Men.

2: Careers For Women Are Also Pre-defined – Teaching, Nursing, Medical Doctors. Not Acceptable – Journalism, TV, Field Reporting, Etc.

Well in my case I am from a small town in West Bengal. I don’t stay at my hometown anymore because of my career.
In 2017 in the same hometown of mine I started facing some issues regarding bank, so I asked for help from an almost influential person. Whereas, when it came to the solution of that problem the person whom I approached ofcourse told everyone he was helping me because I was spotted with him on our way to the bank.

He couldn’t help obviously. So I gave up on him. On the very next day he called me up and then used these words, “Women are not fit enough for journalism and tv” (I used to work in a channel at that point of time) and he didn’t help me because that could have affected his family’s reputation. I didn’t answer him back because I didn’t want to get into any argument. Later on, on my gutts I solved that issue.

After some days he texted and apologised for his words.

Later on he started discussing my work related stuff with me.

One fine day he told me “Ladies who work don’t have a good character and you can easily sleep with people to reach somewhere”. I replied with a smiling smiley and blocked him from everywhere. Tbh that day, I wanted to break his face. Because during my entire career it was known by people who worked with me that I had been a hard worker.

Well, to be straight forward enough, ladies don’t need to sleep around to reach somewhere. That is what some people don’t understand due to their cheap mentality.

There are more stereotypes. If you have male friends, you don’t have a character. You work late at night you are characterless. These issues are not only faced by ladies in cities but small town girls mostly face it.

Many girls from my hometown or other small towns come to me till date with same issue which they face in their area because these girls dared to work in a challenging field. Some are my juniors. Some know me somehow.

Only suggestion which I have always given and I still give is: An empty mind is devil’s workshop and people who are unable to achieve anything will always criticise you.
There are two major reasons for their way of thinking these stuff are: either they never had a working lady in a challenging field at home or they couldn’t take advantage of you.
In my case it was the second thing.
Ladies never let these people get into your mind. If you are truly careeristic ignore it. Your career should matter to you not what these people say.

It’s your life be daring enough to take your own decisions and fight for it. Because ladies always remember you are worth it.

Read article

Stereotypes about working women

Take care.

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Rabindranath Tagore

Rabindranath Tagore, some have heard and read about him some have not. Last week was his birthday. He was born in Calcutta on 7th May 1861 and died on 7th August 1941 in Calcutta. He was a Proud Indian He was a Writer, song composer, playwright, essayist, painter. And he received Novel Prize for ‘Gitanjali’ in the year 1913.

Honestly speaking on my blog today I won’t write what everyone knows or can read about him. This is my blog so today I will write what I truly feel, what I truly think about him.

I had read about him since my childhood. My Grandpa used to say one cannot finish reading his works during his/her whole lifetime. Of course he had written a lot. I somehow could feel whatever he might have felt during writing either a sad poetry or a love poem.

Many bengali people in India love him but some hate him. I remember, last year a renowned camera person from a renowned channel told me there’s no point in loving that man’s work because he got whatever he had because he was born in a rich family.

I didn’t respond him, I just smiled. Of course I could have argued with him because I have read him since my childhood. But I couldn’t make him understand what I exactly feel about Rabindranath Tagore.

If any artist is reading this then my question to you would be, have you seen Rabindranath Tagore’s old age photograph? If yes have you looked deep into his eyes? What do you see?

It is said that eyes of a human reflects everything about that person, I am not sure about others but about Rabindranath Tagore it was applicable. His emotions would be easily understandable from him eyes. I personally avoid looking in his eyes of his picture. Do you know what I see?

He might have recieved everything a man ever wants or wanted but his eyes says he was in agony, in deep pain which he couldn’t share with anyone. His eyes say he wanted peace. His eyes depict, only if he could turn over the time.

There are many portraits about him. Many people draw about him. I only sketched once about him because I can’t draw those eyes. I can’t draw that pain, that hurt. I can’t. I only sketched about him once in my lifetime but for me that was worse because I felt like thousands of knives were hitting me.

I have never seen him but I feel like as if I have known him since ages. May be it’s common.

Many “FAMOUS” people would say ,”Ah, that’s very normal”, if I share my true feelings about what I feel about Rabindranath Tagore. But my question is do you feel connected to him like I do? Do you feel like you have known him always like I do? Do you?

Honestly speaking he isn’t my favourite writer or poet or painter but still I love reading his works. This reminds me of one more incident in 2017 while I was working as a journalist, my senior asked me about one of the phrases of Rabindranath Tagore’s work “Ghore Baire”, a lady who sort of hated me commented, “How would she know about it? You asked the wrong person”, and she chuckled. My senior knowing me well then told her, “Why don’t you answer it then”, she didn’t have any answer to it. I simply completed the phrase and told him the other required details and left the room.

You know I didn’t feel victorious that day because she couldn’t answer it and I knew about it. I was extremely hurt because I can’t portray my feelings.

I know whoever reads it might feel it boring because for the very first time ever I have revealed this side of me but one thing I would say Rabindranath Tagore was really a great man. Not because I know it but because I feel it.

A quote by him, “Who are you, reader, reading my poems an hundred years hence? I cannot send you one single flower from this wealth of the spring, one single streak of gold from yonder clouds. Open your doors and look abroad. From your blossoming garden gather fragrant memories of the vanished flowers of an hundred years before. In the joy of your heart may you feel the living joy that sang one spring morning, sending its glad voice across an hundred years.”

That’s all for today.

Depression

It is a common word now a days. Someone is less depressed someone is badly depressed. Sometimes it is easy to understand that a person is in depression but sometimes it is not.

You might see a person daily waking up, behaving normally, smiling, working for the entire day and then having a sleepless night. It is because people who are deeply depressed but don’t want to share their issues decide not to open or can’t open up.

These people who can’t open up and are scattered from inside and are dying inside everyday.

There are 9 easy ways to detect if someone is depressed:

1) They behave unnatural. That is, they hide their feelings.

2) If you ask them how are their response would be ‘neither good,nor bad’ or something confusing.

3) They prefer to keep themselves extremely busy.

4) They get angry easily.

5) Their unnecessary risky behavior or decisions.

6) They are unable to think clearly

7) Unable to concentrate. Or unable to do things which they once loved to do.

8) They can’t sleep.

9) And lastly, They prefer to be left alone.

Depression can hamper your mental peace from inside. It kills you slowly and you start giving on. This sometimes may lead to suicide as well.

But yes this is not the end. People in depression can get rid of it by themselves. I personally would suggest 8 solutions that helped me to get out of a deep depression.

Yes, once upon a time I was also depressed. I started giving up slowly. I became suicidal I was tired of life. I was dying everyday. But one fine morning I told myself, “No, why the hell should I give up. This life is worth living for”, and then I did these things and I am doing great today.

1) Set a routine for yourself. I know it sounds tough but there’s nothing one can’t do. If you get accustomed in a routine, trust me you can overcome depression.

2) Set a Goal for yourself. When a person is in depression they may not feel like doing anything or even if they do they don’t do it wholeheartedly. So if you set a goal for yourself you can achieve it step by step. That’s what my friend is another step to overcome depression.

3) Exercise everyday. I know it might be tough of people who don’t prefer exercising but it helps. Join a gym. Work hard. You can feel depression leaving you along with your sweat.

4) You need to eat healthy food. I hated eating when I was depressed it caused me anroxia but once I forced myself to eat and that too healthy food, firstly I hated it but later on I must say it helped me.

5) You need to sleep. Having amnesia is different but when a person is badly depressed they have a sleepless night. You need to overcome it. It will be a a forcible step but you have to do it to recover from depression.

6) Negative thoughts will cross your mind by default,but force yourself to think positive. If you can’t on youtube there are many trances which you can listen which will help you.

A) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=txQ6t4yPIM0

B) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kxRRuM99yg0

C) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xWpdsx9WZq4

D) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0yMZ-04ud_Q

Try listening to these. They help a lot.

7) Travel, go out. Though you might not like it bit force yourself to do it. You will feel light. You will feel better

8) Lastly, read. Reading good books will help you alot.

People depression is worse. Try to get out of it for your own self or if you see someone with the problems I have stated above, help them to get out of it.

Let your pain go away and live a happy peaceful life.

Take care.

Harmful Love

He wanted to make her life colourful, but he didn’t realize while making her colourful he was ruining colors from his life. By the time he realized it, all the colours from his life was gone.
Because She always believed in one thing, “Love the one whom you can control, when love starts controlling you DESTROY IT”.

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© Monidipa Dutta